Let’s face it, sex does sell! Not that it is a good statement, but that is just how the world operates. Just take a glimpse of a fashion magazine or flip through the channels and watch some of those commercials on TV. We are constantly being bombarded with images of how the world thinks we should become: A sexy, small-waist, long-haired human doll. Wow, no wonder so many girls have little self-esteem.
Physical purity is all about respecting ourselves and keeping our bodies pure and holy for the Lord (and for your future husband to come). Yes, this is where modesty and abstinence come in the picture. Too many girls think that abstinence is such a lame title to be placed upon their heads and that being called a “virgin” is like being a “loner” or “loser”. That is so not true, girl! God has His reasons why He wants us to stay abstinent until marriage…so we can enjoy our futures with our husbands. Also physical purity helps with our self-esteem. I know it seems like “everyone is doing it”, especially the way the TV glamorizes being “sexy” and “hot” to get attention. However, it is just degrading ourselves.
…being pure doesn’t mean you’re gullible and immature, and being “sexy” doesn’t make you smart and sophisticated. There is such a sad misconception in Hollywood that being sexy means you’re courageous and people will take you seriously. But all it really means is that you’re willing to show your body to the world.” ~T.M. Gaouette, “Selena Gomez Proves She’s a ‘Grown-Up’ by Stripping Down for Elle Magazine.”
As girls, we are mostly controlled by our emotions. We long to be wanted, to “fit in”, and we desire relationships…and that is not a bad thing because that is how God created us. But using our bodies in a sexual way to gain attention is a bad objective. You don’t have to be sexy to get attention. Just be yourself! That’s how God made you! He made you uniquely you!
Sometimes we as girls are in such a rush to find a man that we miss out on God’s true purpose for our lives and for the “Mr. Right” that God has prepared for us. Trust me, our day is coming when God will show each of us our Prince Charmings. We just have to remember that patience is the key. Being single isn’t a bad thing (…and dating isn’t bad either.)
Now you have all of this free time have a deeper relationship with Christ. Isn’t that what our lives as Christians about? To please God with our lives and love Him with all of our hearts? As I just mentioned earlier, dating isn’t bad and all boys are certainly not bad and sex-craved! Boys are not our enemies, but our friends. It’s normal to have feelings for guys! But hen we allow a relationship with a guy become number one in our life and push God away just for a guy!…then that’s a problem. Also if you are willing to do anything and everything just for a guy, then you must find your worth in Christ.
In God you are worth so much more than all the rubies in the world. Don’t allow any and every guy to use you in a way that will just hurt you, you’re worth the wait. If a guy isn’t willing to wait for you as his bride, then he is totally not worth your time and energy. God made you in a special way and made you for a special guy who is willing to wait for you. True love waits! Don’t stress yourself over a guy, God will show you the path. Just be still and lead your focus to Christ. Trust me, if no one else will treat you right, I know my God will!
So you must be wondering…
So how can I may remain physically pure?
Well, I’m glad you asked:
1) Stand firm to your decision to not have sex before marriage (for God and for your future husband)
Remaining a virgin and staying abstinent before you walk down the aisle is one of the biggest decisions you could ever make in your life. It is not just showing your obedience to God, but you are also saving yourself for the “one” God has prepared specially and specifically for you!
2) Pray and read the Bible daily
Reading the Word of God and praying is your BIGGEST defense against tempation. The Bible is God’s road map for your life and it will help you fight tempations that will arise in your life. Yes, temptations will come, but God will not allow you to go into battle unarmed. That’s why reading God’s
Word is sooo important. I have finally realized (it took me long enough) how the Bible is such a big help in many (okay, ALL) of the circumstances in my life and so does praying to God. How can God help you if you never ask for His help? (~James 4:2) and ( read Ephesians 6:11, 14-17).
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
3) Avoid Temptations
There are temptations everywhere, but it is up to us whether to avoid them or not. For example, if you choose to date it is probably a good idea to go on group dates instead of just spending a lot of time with your date or choose to date in the morning time. Also limit kissing and a lot of physical contact. A lot of physical contact leaves you attached to a person who most likely will not walk the aisle with you. I have seen (mostly read) about a lot of girls regretting going “over board” with their physical part of their relationships. It’s just best not to even go there.
4) Consider Courting instead of dating
The difference between courting and dating is motive. The purpose of courting is to find your spouse, whereas dating is more casual. The problem is, dating may result in more premarital temptation. If you’re serious about waiting until you’re married to have sex, it may be a good idea to court instead of date. If you decide to court, consider waiting until you’re older and ready for marriage before entering into this kind of relationship.
5) Stay around friends who share the same values
This also goes with avoiding temptations in a way. If your friends agree and stick with your decision to remain pure this will help you in many levels. Friends are usually a big influence in our lives…they can either build you up or pull you down. Choosing your friends wisely will keep you from a lot of heartache and trouble. If your friends have the same values you as, they will keep you accountable for the road ahead. It is also a great idea to have a trusted adult (like your parents and pastor) who will keep you accountable as well. They’ve been there, so they know what you’re going through. Don’t be afraid to ask them question. The more you are prepared, the better you are in life.
I know many people may consider you as “weird” because of your decision, but you are not alone. You are taking a HUGE step as you are following the Lord. You are not only respecting God, but yourself, and your future husband! You are so worth the wait, girl!