Reblog: How to Respond to People Who Criticize You for Waiting Until Marriage

I just read this post from Project Inspired, a great Christian website for young women, and I just had to share this post! Since I started this #TrueLoveWaitsPledge Campaign, I know many people will try to criticize your decision to wait. I was even told that waiting until marriage was unrealistic. However, I know so many people who are waiting and so can you! So be encouraged

black-marraige-day

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

Written by Kytia Lamour
Posted on July 8, 2015 at 12:00 pm
I waited until I was married to have sex. In fact, I wore a purity ring for years that was eventually replaced by my engagement ring because I was sure that decision was the right one for me. It’s important to make this choice for yourself and not judge other people who haven’t done the same. I definitely had the desire to be intimate, as any young woman with a pulse might, so I was constantly asked why I was saving my virginity for my future husband.

This subject is a very personal one, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for whatever you choose to do. However, if you feel the need to respond, it’s best to do it with the spotlight on yourself and your personal convictions instead of simply saying “Everyone should do this because God wants us to.” Keeping God’s commands is very important, but it’s also good to know and share the benefits of abiding by His word.
The next time someone raises an eyebrow at your moral compass and offers these remarks, consider responding in the following ways.

“It’s not a big deal.” It most definitely is a big deal. There are plenty of people who will fall into one-night stands and follow their body’s desires, but not many of them will tell you that you are giving a piece of yourself to anyone you are intimate with. You might want to save those pieces for your future spouse so that he will have that prize for himself.
“You’re missing out on a lot of great guys you could be with.” This should be obvious, but most of us don’t think about it until it’s too late. Not everyone is honest or knowledgeable about possible STDs they are carrying. Having multiple partners increases your risks of contracting something you may end up suffering with for the rest of your life, and you could be putting your future spouse at risk without even knowing it.

“Don’t you think you’re being old-fashioned?” Times change, but God’s values never will. He has asked us to keep our marriage bed undefiled, and that request doesn’t come with an expiration date. Being “old-fashioned” isn’t always a bad thing, and there are reasons why generations before us held onto certain traditions and had long-lasting marriages because of it.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. (Hebrews 13:4)

“You already know he’s the one you’re going to marry, so there’s no need to wait.” Whoever you decide to have a relationship with should respect your decision, and that includes “The One.” If a guy pursues you in hopes of getting you into his bed without marrying you, his motives are not in the right place and he is not worthy of your time.

“What if you get married and find out you’re terrible in bed?” I’ve always been from the school of thought that if God will bring you a husband, He will make sure that you are compatible in every way. Your sex life is something you both will have to work at whether or not you are a virgin, so there’s no need to worry unnecessarily about a lack of fulfillment in the bedroom.
It is possible to start a new life of abstinence if you’ve already had sex before marriage. God does not condemn those who have, and it’s never too late to start a clean slate and honor your body in a way that is pleasing to the Lord.
Do you think it’s important to wait for marriage? How do you face criticism for the choice that you’ve made?

So what do you think of this post?

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Lies Girls Believe #4″I need a boyfriend! Everyone else has one!”

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Lies Girls Believe #4:

“I need a boyfriend! 

Everyone else has one!”

Even though I haven’t dated yet, I can say that I thank the Lord that my parents have restricted me not to, especially when I look around at my peers. Boys are not bad, and not every boy just wants to have sex with you, but having boyfriend can be distracting especially at our age. We should be focusing on our grades, on our future careers, and trying to have a deeper relationship with God. I know it seems cute to have someone to hold your hand, to walk you to class, and give you compliments…but trust me it’s not worth it in the long run. You are giving bits and pieces of your heart to someone who will most likely not walk you down the aisle. How disappointed it would be to not be able to love your future husband because most of your heart has been given away to others.
If you really want to be in a relationship so bad, the beset relationship you can have right now is with God! Trust me, you don’t have to worry about breakups, heart breaks, boy love-couple-images-45-1024x807drama, or ex-girlfriend drama either! He’s yours exclusively forever and ever! He knows how to treat a girl with respect and like a princess because you are one! So don’t allow any and every boy has a piece of you just so that you can  become like those girls in chick flicks. (It’s called Hollywood…almost everything in Hollywood is fake) You are a princess and God has already set out your Prince Charming to meet you!

Just be patient!

 

Lies Girls Believe #5: “Sticks and stones…”

Lies Girls Believe #5

“Sticks and stones may break my bones by words will never hurt me.”

Words hurt

Words hurt

Just one word for that…OUCH! It sounds like a cute little saying, especially when you don’t want others to see how their words really affect you, but it is one of the WORSE lies ever told. Words do hurt …or heal. It is our choice on how we use them. Our tongue is the toughest muscle in our bodies. With it so many people have been destroyed and others encouraged or even inspired with it. We decide whether to build someone up or tear them down with our words. We can draw someone to Christ or lead them further away from Him. Our words do matter.

But what happens when someone else tries to tear us down?

We can even hurt ourselves with our own words when we allow self-doubt and low self esteem overwhelm us.

“I’m not pretty enough”

“I will never be as good as _____”

“I’m so stupid.”

I have wounded myself various times from my own tongue. I believed the lies of the enemy instead of the truth of my Father. However, I’m glad God changed my way of thinking and opened my eyes. Sometimes those same lies try to reach me again, yet now I am armed with the Word of God. And that is our weapon! It is so important….no VITAL to know the Word of God for yourself. Don’t wait until Sunday morning to pick up your Bible and wait for the Pastor to speak life to you. Your pastor will not always be there with you when you are in your darkest moments, but Jesus will. God may not speak to you in an audible, loud voice in the sky, nevertheless He does speaks to your heart through the Word…His love letter to you. God is always speaking but we are not always listening. The Bible is our defense and weapon against the enemy’s lies and tricks.

Ephesians 6:16-17 says, “In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

The devil is actually afraid of us, the Children of God, because we have the Most High, the King of Kings, the Creator inside of us. The enemy is even more frightened when we actually know and LIVE the Word. So a person could talk smack about and to you all day long saying: 

  • “You’ll never be anything.”
  • “You are so ugly.”
  • You should kill yourself.”

But when you have God’s words in your heart then you will know that God says:

  • For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 ESV)
  • For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:13-14 ESV)
  •   I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord. (Psam 118:17 KJV)

So no person in this world can make you feel miserable unless you allow it. That is also our choice. Sure it will hurt, however, you do not have to allow it to soak into your heart and believe it. I am still learning this and allowing God’s words to seep into my heart. 

Just remember this: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (Proverbs 18:21) So will you speak life or death today? Will you believe the lie or the Truth?

 

More than Just Sex…

Purity is so much more than just abstaining from sex (though that is a great start). It is living our lives pure and holy unto the Lord. It is the way we think, the way we dress, and even the way we act even when we think no one is looking (even though God sees everything). Many people may dress modestly but are still not living a pure life. Purity means “freedom from anything that debases [reduce in quality or value], contaminates, pollutes” (dictionary.com).

Is there anything in your life that is polluting you? Even some small things that we may think is nothing such as lying, gossiping, being jealous, telling someone off, or pushing God aside can pollute our lives. As my pastor always says, “It’s the small foxes that destroys the vines.” (found in Song of Solomon 2:15)

We are not perfect, I can testify to that, but do not allow that to be an excuse to what is wrong on purpose. There is always something we all (yes and me!) can work on so that we can become more like Christ.

“Whoever says he abides in [Christ] ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.”~1 John 2:6

That is our job as Christians–not to think we are more holy or better than someone else– but to be more like Jesus! When people begin look at us walking down school hallways, on our jobs, in the grocery store, or in the even park,  they won’t see us…but the God in us. His love, His mercy, His grace, His power in our lives. That is how lives are changed. Not by what we preach, but the lives we live if we walk by what we preach…including me. The world is looking at us, what are you going to show them?

“Psalm 119:9ESV “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your Word.”

~HisGirl